The Things We See
by Panny
Summary: A series of introspective pieces running through the series.
1. 1A: Asking Her

Chapter 1A: Asking Her

**Chapter 1A: Asking Her**

"Yeah, I can't."

He was stupid. So stupid to be asking some stupid ape to come along with him. He's fine on his own. Didn't want anyone with him, really. But her... well, she saved his life, didn't she? Wouldn't be right _not_ to ask her to come along. Honestly, if he went around falling into danger and never thanking the people who helped him, what kind of person would that make him?

Besides, he had fun while he was with her. Smiled a bit more, and that could be a good thing. So he thought that maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to be alone after all.

How stupid it was of him to ask though. Of course she didn't want to come. Who did? Leave behind a nice comfy life on the couch to have to run for your life on a regular basis? Forget it.

He laughs to himself slightly. Besides, she's right. That Rickey of hers really does need help. Stupid lump indeed. Just standing - no wait, cowering - there while his girlfriend risks life and limb to save the day.

Bronze medal in gymnastics. He smiles again. She probably wouldn't mind running every day. And she wanted to go, he's almost certain of it. That slight twitch forward, the impulse to go for it, held back by the responsibilities of the mundane life. Well, if that was all it was, he could just drop her back a few minutes after they left. But if she's too stupid to figure out that basic benefit of a time machine, then why should he bother?

...

...He told her about the traveling in time part, didn't he? Yeah. _Time_ and relative dimension in space. It's the very first word.

...

...She wasn't really listening then, was she? Too busy worrying about her melting boyfriends head to catch that one vital word that he didn't bother to emphasize.

Would she have come if he told her that? Said he could take her across the universe, but as far as she knows that just means green women and planets that look like rock quarries. She's got no idea what's out there. The vast variety of life and culture. But a time machine - any human can understand the possibilities of that.

Well, blew that one then didn't he. But what's he talking about, 'blew it'? Blew what? Didn't really want her to say yes. He's fine on his own. Doesn't need someone to look after. Someone to ask stupid questions. Someone to get in the way. Someone to look impressed when he gets it right. Someone to swing in and help when things get tough. Someone's hand to hold. Someone to hold his.

He's going back, isn't he? Oh yes, look at that. There go his hands, flying across the controls to land him back in front of her. Just a few seconds past. He's going to look like such an oaf. I mean really, who goes back to ask a second time? Certainly not him. No, he will not ask twice. That's pathetic. He's got a reputation to uphold. Sort of.

The TARDIS stops moving and he stands still for a moment, debating. Can't back out now. She must still be out there, so they've seen him. He's _not_ asking. It doesn't matter that much. He's just giving her enough information to make an informed decision.

"By the way, did I mention? It also travels in time."

He smiles and backs away, leaving the door open, and realizes that he wants nothing more than to see her walk through it.


	2. 1B: The Trouble With Saying Yes

Chapter 1B: The Trouble With Saying Yes

**Chapter 1B: The Trouble With Saying Yes**

"Unless, uh, I don't know. You could come with me."

She could go. With him. He's asking _her_, boring old Rose Tyler who hasn't done anything exciting since inciting the school choir strike years ago, to go and travel with him. Across the _universe._

"Don't! He's an alien. He's a, he's a thing!"

Mickey's right. She can't just go with him. She's spent the past two days dealing with exploding buildings, headless rampaging bodies and attacking shop window dummies. And she had to save _his_ life. How can she expect to be safe if that's the sort of life the Doctor normally lives, and yet he can't even keep himself alive without help?

"So, what do you think? You could stay here and fill your life with work, and food, and sleep. Or you could go... anywhere."

"Is it always this dangerous?"

She has to ask, because maybe it wouldn't be that bad. He had given the Nestene Consciousness a chance, and maybe most of the time the bad guys take it. Maybe they're not so bad after all and it'll be fun. He's right. It'd be better than work, food, sleep, repeat.

"Yeah."

Mickey throws his arms around her, looking for all the world like a small child about to lose his mother. Poor Mickey's already lost his mum and his gran. She can't go. Can't possibly leave Mickey behind, and even if he was invited, he wouldn't go, would he?

They've got a dinner planned on Thursday with Sue and Shireen. And she still hasn't finished his application for that new mechanic's shop. The papers are in her room, on the dresser, under the lamp, her mobile phone bill and a teddy bear. Even if she told him exactly where it is he wouldn't find it, and if he did, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

Her Mum's expecting her home for dinner. They're supposed to watch East Enders and pig out on ice cream. She's got those papers from the police station too for her to look at. Compensation, how ridiculous. But she did take the time to go down, so she really should at least look at it.

Then tomorrow is that interview at Spencer's. And she was supposed to call Sue back about the position at the hospital. Not that she particularly wants to be dishing out food to doctors and nurses who think they're better than her, but she's really got to get a job. She still owes her Mum 300 quid.

Maybe if stupid Jimmy Stones hadn't screwed things up she could go. Could run for it like her legs are begging her too. She can feel it in her gut. In her heart. Go.

"Yeah, I can't. I've got to go and find my Mum. And someone's got to look after this stupid lump so..."

Mickey looks up at her and he actually looks grateful. Doesn't even care that she's just said that. It's rather pathetic. Shouldn't be thinking things like that though. He's a good guy. Always looking out for her and taking her back.

She forces a smile to fight the sinking feeling that's telling her she just passed up the greatest opportunity that may ever come to her. The Doctor nods and that's it. All over.

"See you around." He smiles at her hopefully and she can't even return it. How could she do that? Just said no, for what?

To stay and take care of Mickey, who should have learned to fend for himself years ago?

For Mum, who will spend the night hassling her about getting money out the whole Henrick's situation and getting a job at the butcher's?

For her friends who she barely sees since they're all so busy working?

For work and bills and stupid, bloody East Enders?

The door closes and the wind picks up. She hears that same strange, unearthly sound she heard the last time he disappeared off the estate and then he's gone.

She gave it all up for nothing.


	3. 2A: Sorry That I Took You

**Chapter 2A:** Sorry That I Took You

He'd never admit it, but when he asked, he _wanted_ her to come. And she came.

Oh, she came. She came along and the first thing he does is blow up her planet. Or rather, show her her planet blowing up. Real smooth.

He wanted to show her just what he and the TARDIS were capable of, but he didn't want to shock her by taking her far from her planet. So somehow he thought taking her to the very end of her planet's life would be the best idea.

She handled it pretty well. Stood by and watched the various alien species as they came up to greet them. Got a bit rattled by the Lady Cassandra, but she didn't run off until they started up the jukebox. All a bit too much for her.

Or maybe she just doesn't like Soft Cell.

So he hadn't exactly had the greatest idea by taking her there to begin with. And the whole loss of shields and her nearly getting burnt up by the sun hadn't helped one bit.

But what was he supposed to do? If she was going to come along with him, she'd have to take care of herself. He was careful enough to watch her in the beginning. Make sure she could handle it all. Beyond that, she's on her own.

But that's not really fair, is it? Not after he made her see something no one should have to see. Watching your own planet burn. No. Showing her that was wrong.

He sighs and watches her, staring out at the remains of her own planet, and remembers staring at his own. Hours had passed. Days. Weeks. He lost track.

He blinks, clearing his mind.

He did try to help Rose. Went after her when she left the first time, but that hadn't gone so well. Less than an hour of traveling together and they'd been arguing. Maybe taking her really was a mistake. If they had been in her time he might have walked out right then. Is that the sort of man he is now? A little friction and he takes off. It all reeks too much of domestic.

Still, the whole phone thing worked out pretty well. Got a real smile out of her which was nice. She's got a nice smile. She looked at him and seemed genuinely impressed with him. He liked that, being impressive.

She's just standing there, staring silently. What to do? If someone had been there for him, if they'd come up to him as he stood as she does now, what would he have done? Sent them off? Yelled and screamed and cursed out his rage at the first person to come by? Or cry? He's not one to cry much, but right then he could have sobbed and gasped and cried for hours if the opportunity came. Or perhaps he'd block them out. Tell them everything was fine and not let them know. Would he do that with Rose? Either way, he's got to do something to keep her from going down the dark path one travels when they've lost everything.

He walks forward and she turns, hearing his footsteps. Before he reaches her, she turns back to the window. Is she mad at him? Does she hate him for taking her here? How could he blame her if she did? She's going to ignore him now. Give him the silent treatment and -

"The end of the Earth," she whispers, looking like she's about to cry. "It's gone. We were too busy saving ourselves. No one saw it go."

No one was there to see Gallifrey burn.

"All those years. All that history and no one was even looking. It's just so..."

She's not crying because her mum is long dead and gone. She's not upset because she nearly died. She's not mad that he took her there. She doesn't care about what Cassandra had said or done. She's hurting for the planet, and all of its people. She understands and feels the loss of something far greater than herself.

He reaches out his hand, willing her to take it. "Come with me."

He walks slowly, allowing her the time too look back at a sight he hopes she never has to see again. He tightens his grip on her hand and takes her to the TARDIS, with plans to take her home.

She nearly died, and who would have been there to see _her_ go? His life is too dangerous.

She looks almost lost when she steps out, looking around at the planet, teeming with life again. He watches as she takes it all in and reminds her that nothing last forever.

Gallifrey should have. Peaceful people just trying to keep order. Never attacked anyone, just stopped those who did. Outside of the timelines and events of smaller species and civilization. And what good did that isolation do? No one there to help when they were threatened. All gone now. The people. The planet.

"My planets gone."

She jumps and turns to look at him. He nearly jumps as well. He wasn't planning to tell her that but somehow it just slips out and she listens intently, never taking her eyes off his. No choice now but to go on. What will she think of him now? Pity? Or hatred for a man who destroyed his people?

"What happened?"

"There was a war, and we lost." No need for details. He doesn't want to tell her. She can't know what he did. It's not fair to put that on her. And he doesn't want to lose it. That look she gives him like he's the best thing she's ever seen.

"A war with who?"

Demented creatures. Cold metal shells. Beating hearts that lacked soul.

Rose clears her throat, not bothering to wait for an answer. "What about your people?"

He turns to her then, grateful that she knows enough to not push her last question. He answers with more pride than he ever would have before they were all gone. "I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own because there's no one else."

"There's me." She says it with no hesitation and his face shifts slightly, almost smiling but not quite. After everything, she still wants to stay with him. Even more than that, she wants to be there for him, and that means more than anything else in the universe. Still, he's put her life on the line too many times in the past few days for him to carelessly, selfishly, bring her along. It's not right.

"You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?"

"I don't know. I want..."

She's hesitating. Weighing out the options because she doesn't have an answer. She's scared, he can understand that. But she hasn't run away. Not yet anyway. He stares as she breaks eye contact, looking around.

"Oh, can you smell chips?"

He blinks and looks up. He wasn't expecting that answer. Not in a million years would he have been able to guess that the next words out of her mouth after being asked if she'd like to continue risking her life to travel with him would be about chips. He has to laugh about that.

"Yeah. Yeah."

"I want chips."

"Me too," he tells her, unable to keep the broad grin off of his face. It was so simple, and so cute, and so human. Distracted by the enticing aroma of chips.

"Right then. Before you get me back in that box, chips it is and you can pay."

He shrugs with a teasing smile. "No money."

"What sort of date are you? Come on then tightwad, chips are on me. Only got 5 billion years until the shops close."

He smiles and takes her hand, relieved that she can joke about everything she's just been through. She smiles at him, he smiles at her and he can't help it. There's just something about Rose Tyler that makes him smile. She leans into him and they walk hand in hand to get her chips.


	4. 2B: Take Me

Chapter 2B: Take Me

Trees. There were bleedin' trees walking around. Introduced by blue men. Well, a blue man, and then some blue... little people. Or maybe they weren't little at all. For all she knows, they're supposed to be that size. Or they could be kids. Does that count as child labor?

Not only that, but the Doctor was flirting with a tree. Not just a little smile or wink, but... exchanging of air. Which, for a tree is probably something that would get you arrested for public indecency. Like that one time with Jimmy.

At least she got some gifts out of all of it. Okay, so one of those gifts was a bit of spit in her eye. And another one was a bit of sabotage from a flap of skin that apparently passes for human once the Earth is gone. So basically, she got a plant that's sitting on the console room floor that will probably grow enough to climb out of its pot and walk off one day.

She slips off her jacket and winces as the sleeve brushes over the slight burn on her arm. Nearly killed by burning rays of the sun. If they'd hit her head-on it would have shot right through her. Thankfully all she's got is a small surface burn from where one shot got dangerously close.

The aching of her skull is a bit worse though. Took a metal fist to the forehead, then collided with the floor. The combination of the two has left her with a killer headache. Too bad she doesn't make a habit of carrying around parcetemol. That may have to change.

The Doctor never asked if she was alright. No, she took the time to ask him but he just assumed she was a-ok after being locked in a room with failing heat shields. Couldn't he see that she wasn't all right? How could he not tell?

He must have realized something later on, and it did help a bit. Going back and seeing that the world wasn't really gone. Not for her anyway.

She licks her lips and smiles at the flavor of salt. They were good chips at least. So she got a few burns, a bump on the head, a house plant and chips.

And he finally answered her question about who he is. The Doctor, last of the Time Lords. Sounds very proper and powerful, but there's a huge sadness to it. Left on his own.

She thought for sure he'd laugh at her, or maybe even get annoyed when she pointed out that he had her. Who was she to suggest she was comparable to an entire lost planet and species? And since when did he have her anyway? An hour before she was terrified, locked in a box with a strange man she didn't know, and suddenly she was buying him chips.

He trusted her, and somehow she knows that that means a lot. He didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to tell her anything, but he did anyway. Maybe he felt guilty. Maybe he did realize she'd been through a lot and that was his way of showing it.

She sniffs her shirt and cringes. Between running around underground in London, and the heat of being right next to the sun expanding, she's done a fair share of sweating in these clothes. That decides it - if he's _got_ her, then he's _stuck_ with her, and right now she needs a shower, and a room.

"Where am I staying?" she asks, and he looks surprised by the question as if it hadn't even occurred to him. "Do I get a room?... or should I just camp out on the floor in here?"

He's staring at her without answering. She shouldn't have asked, should she? He said she could come with him. Maybe he'd meant something more temporary? They could be on their way to her flat right now and she'd never even know it. Oh god, she has mangled this up, hasn't she? Now she does look like a fool. He didn't really mean he'd take her long term.

"Right!" he declares and she jumps. "Pick any room you like. Don't sleep too long. I can't wait forever."

That's it? He's just going to leave her on her own to wander around, trying to find a room? What if she gets lost? Or opens an air lock? Does this thing even have an air lock? At least he didn't laugh or tell her no.

He gestures to the door so she nods slowly and exits, amazed by the mass of corridors beyond. The ship is huge. The entire estate could probably fit inside with room to spare and she's supposed to find her way around?

She opens the first door she finds and slams it back shut at a flash of sharp teeth. She doesn't know what the teeth belong to, but she doesn't plan to find out.

The next door she opens slowly, revealing a fairly small kitchen, considering the size of the ship. All of the appliances seem pretty normal. Wouldn't a high-tech time-traveling ship have space agey appliances like instant food makers? Good lord, is he gonna expect her to cook? She hadn't thought about that. Is she gonna have to do something to earn her keep? Cooking, cleaning... other things.

She swallows hard, keeping her mind out of the gutter. Okay, so he made her pay for chips. No big deal. If he starts telling her to do anything else, she'll just have to draw the line. After all, she's a guest and should be treated as such.

She shakes her head and laughs at herself, closing the kitchen door. She wanders aimlessly, feeling like she's walking in circles but slowly getting somewhere until finally she reaches a door that feels right and she opens it.

It's bigger than her room back home, that's for sure. A great big bed with one of those tall mattresses you need a safety line to climb up onto. It looks much more mature than her room at home as well. Matching wooden furniture, a dark burgundy blanket, trimmed with gold and covered with matching decorative pillows. To the left, just past the dressing table and before the dresser she sees an open door and sighs. A bathroom. Her _own_ bathroom. All her life, the one thing she's always wanted. No anti-wrinkle cream on the counter. No blue eye-shadow in the medicine cabinet. Just her own stuff. She walks in and drops onto a bench by the bathtub and smiles.

She'll cook for this. She'll cook, clean _and_ do whatever else he wants to live like this. Relaxing jacuzzi baths. And is that... she peeks back into her bedroom (is it _hers_ then?) and nearly faints. That's a walk in closet. A walk... in... closet. Oh yes, she's his, and he's stuck with her forever.


End file.
